Do you remember fighting with your siblings when you were still at home? I suppose we all do. Usually, at some point, your parents would end up getting after you. And most parents are especially vigilant in reprimanding their kids if they start fighting in public.
In applying this to a broader context, I thought about how we often see people on the same side of an issue start attacking each other for little things. This happens in political parties, religious affiliations, and just people who are generally like-minded on an issue. The down-side of these intramural tiffs is that it looks bad to the opposition and also weakens your position when trying to present it to them. I think the most visible example of this happening right now is in the Republican primary race. In this case, it’s not just the bickering back and forth, but the large body of participants making it especially noticeable and visible to everyone. That’s a large family to be fighting out in public. It’s a bit of a media circus. And unfortunately some of the fights being engaged by these candidates (on a scale of maturity) equate with some of the ones we had with our siblings when we were 12-years old.
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I think there are a number of negatives to this scenario. One is that you end up pounding on each other to such a degree that when it comes time to face your real enemy you don’t have much fight left in you. Another is that you’ve diminished your own positions in-house to such a degree that when you get to the real battle field you have greater difficulty defending your own points. Now when you get out to face the enemy from without all the major arguments against have already been made from within. Besides making you look ridiculous, now all your opposition has to do is point to the fights you engaged in within your own camp. Your opposition doesn’t even have to make compelling arguments anymore. They can just simply say, “I refer you to exhibit A”, as they point to the mud-slinging match you had with your own “brother”. Then you have to slink your head in shame as you have to admit that you see their point.
When reflecting on our petty quarrels we had with our own siblings, I suppose the reason our parents expressed such concern over our public arguments was that it reflected poorly on them. And rightly so. The thought from others was most likely, “Can’t you keep a better handle on your kids? What’s the matter with you?” Conversely, if you display solidarity from within your own family it makes you look like you have your act together. And it gives you legitimacy in the community at large. I think it’s easy to overlook how ridiculous we can appear to other people sometimes. We can often find that these internal battles aren’t worth fighting.