My Moment of Truth

There seems to be an art in the process of debating over ideas. I’ve noticed the side that wins an argument isn’t necessarily the one that’s actually right. Sometimes—maybe even often times—the side that has mastered the art of debate is the side that wins. And that’s great for the winner of the debate, but it’s not great for the promotion of truth. In the debating over ideas, truth can easily get trampled in the process.

I’ve watched quite a number of debates on Youtube videos over various topics. I usually have a settled opinion of my own beforehand. What surprises me is how many times the side I’m on ends up losing and the other side just ends up mopping the floor with them. I’m thinking, “How did you lose that debate? You had a mountain of evidence behind you. The facts were stacked in your favor, and the other guy ended up making you look ridiculous.” Of course, this is when self-reflection sets in and I’m forced to remember all the times I’ve lost an argument with someone even though I know I was on the side of right. As frustrating as it is to watch, it’s even more frustrating when it happens to you. In fact, it’s the same scenario that’s happened to me as I’ve watched happen to others. I have all the right facts and all the right evidence, but somehow the other guy goes away confident he’s won the battle.
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Certainly, there’s a degree of salesmanship involved here. And if there’s anything I’m not, it’s a salesman. But a truly skilled debater can talk their way out of anything. They’re just really good at sounding like they’re right. I, on the other hand, can be right, but by the way it appears no one would ever know it. I guess part of it’s because I’m an honest debater. I attack the facts head-on. The other side can circle around the facts and talk about everything but what’s actually pertinent to the topic. And this is how arguments are often lost—even good arguments. But what’s most unfortunate isn’t that I end up losing, or some other guy on the side of right ends up losing, but that the truth ends up losing. This is the truly unfortunate consequence in all of this. Because when truth loses in the arena of ideas, we all lose.

I think central to the identification of truth in a debate is being able to discern which one is wanting to promote truth, and which one is just there to make a sale. I’m convinced that people who argue against the truth aren’t always convinced that they’re right. They’re just happy if they can make it appear that you’re not. They have a really low bar to clear; they don’t have to be on the side of right; all they have to do is make it look like you aren’t. They’ll take their swings and punches at truth, but at the end of the day they’ve really got nothing. So, don’t be fooled by the good debater. All kinds of sophistry and antics may be deployed, but when all is said and done the truth will be the one left standing.

…Let’s go deeper

One thing life, thankfully, offers are new beginnings. It’s actually one of the defining aspects of life. Life is about learning, and you can’t learn if mistakes aren’t a part of that equation. It’s inevitable that we’ll make choices that don’t end up very well. To think that a path, once chosen, can never be diverted from is a scary and depressing thought. But the glimmer of hope life offers is that a dark path doesn’t have to remain dark if we just choose one that’s a bit brighter.

Making an about face isn’t something to be embarrassed of. I think sometimes we’re afraid to change our minds or regroup if we don’t like how the terrain is looking, simply for fear of how it appears to others. To change one’s mind reflects uncertainty, and uncertainty reflects weakness. But a changed mind doesn’t necessarily have to reflect the weakness of the individual, but possibly just a weakness of the choice. I think sometimes we fail to separate the two. There’s a reason why your teachers taught on chalkboards that could be easily erased; mistakes were expected, so when one is made you can easily start over. The chalkboard was a type of playground for the mind. Of course, it was never fun making mistakes in front of the class if the teacher called you up to the board. But mistakes on a chalkboard are like many of our mistakes in life; they happen in front of the whole world to see.
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At some point, we have to realize that mistakes are a part of it—embrace the mistakes, I guess. By that I mean, if we choose to never write anything for fear of mistakes the chalkboard’s going to remain empty. Don’t be motivated by your fear of mistakes. Be motivated by your fear of an empty chalkboard. We don’t intentionally make mistakes and live a reckless life, but just move forward and keep that eraser ready in hand. We sometimes hold this image in mind of a perfectly lived life—one that we think other people live. But if we think someone else is living the perfect life, it’s only because their mistakes weren’t in our field of vision. And our own mistakes are usually more glaring in our own minds than anyone else’s.

Those things we don’t like about our past—-the good news is—they’re in the past. We have a fresh chalkboard in front of us. A changed, brighter future is within our grasp. Don’t get stuck in the rut of thinking what always has been always will be. Actually, there’s something to respect about a person who is willing to make a break with the past. Rather than reflecting weakness, it can be one of the greatest acts of courage. To continue down a path you know isn’t working can be one of the most deflating things there is. But it’s only when you see the chance for a new beginning that a new life and vitality is breathed into you.

…Let’s go deeper

The audacity inherent to youth, consequently, also seems to reach its peak levels here. While not knowing much of anything, we claim to know everything. Truth be told, we have a very little amount that we do know. But, for the vast land of knowledge beyond our reach, we just arbitrarily claim that as conquered territory as well. It’s a good thing we aren’t trusted with much authority when young. Our huge gaps in knowledge make us like a powerful missile with no guidance system. You can aim us at a target, but we’ll take out everything else along the way.

To be fair, there’s no way we can claim as our own the knowledge our elders took years to acquire. But it’s in the claiming to know where the infraction lies. And what makes it worse is not knowing what we don’t know. On the surface, many things seem simpler than what they actually are. Our reductive analysis folds under the weight of reality, much like a house of cards. We’re foolish to think this flimsy structure can hold up under the immense weight of scrutiny life demands. And we’re left despondent when we later find out that it fails.

Experience is like a series of clues a detective picks up along the way, leading to the ultimate solving of the puzzle. And in this way, experience is the best teacher. It provides the strength for the structure to hold up under pressure. What metal rebar provides to concrete, so experience provides to knowledge. Without it, mere knowledge crumbles and is left in a dusty heap when shaken. I can learn and know a lot about a subject by reading a book, but I can’t experientially know that subject from reading a book. It’s only when I get out into the real world and apply what I know that it all comes together; and we find the application of knowledge is much different than just the knowing of it. What I can be tricked into thinking works through knowledge, I can find doesn’t work through experience. So, in a way, experience is the proving ground for ideas.
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We aren’t the same person at 60 that we are at 18. Time will mold and shape us in ways we can’t fully realize at the time. We might graduate from college and think we’re finally done with school, but that’s when class really begins. And thankfully, time and experience have a way of humbling even the most audacious of us—if we’re lucky. We can be thankful for this. When properly receptive of the training, this is how the impudent adolescent slowly becomes the wise old sage—the kind that can later give valuable advice to the up-and-coming adolescents. The sometimes blissful ignorance of youth yield to the time and understanding of age.

I’m, for some reason, reminded of a famous line by Ronald Reagan in one of his debates with Walter Mondale during his re-election campaign in 1984. When asked by the moderator about his age, and whether he could handle the job of being President in his advanced years, he replied, “I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I will not exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.” Needless to say, he brought down the house with that line. Even Walter Mondale was laughing. But, while funny, what he went on to say was even more compelling—a famous line which I believe was a paraphrase of Cicero. He said, “If it was not for the elders correcting the mistakes of the young, there would be no state.” 

…Let’s go deeper

There’s one criteria in the process of creation that’s sometimes overlooked. Those who create, in whatever form, don’t just need the skills and ability to do so; they need the force of inspiration. All creative ability tends to fall flat without this x-factor. The ability to create means little without an inspiration behind it.

Sometimes, without being inspired, creative types end up stuck in their tracks. It’s why writers experience writer’s block, painters are left staring at a blank canvas without a powerful image in mind, and musicians are left mute without an inspiring topic around which to wrap their musical notes and lyrics. A work of art isn’t really a work of art without a reason to create it. However, there is something to be said for creating just for the sake of creating. This can be valuable. It can be a type of outlet. Or it can be a form of practice for the real thing. But the best creations are the ones that are inspired and leave an indelible mark on the audience.
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These are the best creations—the ones evoking an emotional response that onlookers don’t easily forget. We tend to remember the medium due to the emotion it evokes, and it creates a change in us when it leaves a mark on our soul. Songs get stuck in our head with a driving melody and compelling lyrics; a powerful painting imprints an image in our mind that colors all others images that we ponder; writers evoke ideas with words and poetic verse we don’t easily forget. It seems when people create out of their own life experience is when it has its most powerful effect. You just can’t fake the emotions that it draws out. And these creations that are the most honest are usually the ones that are the best. They’re not a contrivance of what the artist thinks people want to see or hear. And if it’s something people can relate to, now you’ve got a powerful medium. These things speak to us on a visceral level.

Human inspiration is something difficult to put your finger on, exactly. But you know when it’s there. Besides a topic of interest to inspire the art, there seems to be something there that’s propelling the artist forward. It’s more than just an intellectual exercise, but the work seems to take on a life of its own. They didn’t entirely know what they wanted it to become when they started, but somehow it became what it was meant to be. The artist becomes a medium for the art to be drawn out. Their imagination leaps from one idea to another—improvised—like a climber on a cliff who, initially only seeing their goal at the top, doesn’t know how he’ll get there, but just knows that somehow he will. Every piece of a ledge he grabs in between is just a part of the creation that propels the whole work forward until the entire piece is formed. It can’t be predicted. And that’s what makes it so amazing.

…Let’s go deeper

When petty squabbles are the order of the day, time to invoke a higher authority. National politics—and further, the covering of national politics—display a spectacle of immaturity and deplorable behavior which cause one’s eyes to grow large in disbelief. If we were witnessing a daycare fight between petulant children arguing over which one stole the other’s favorite toy, we wouldn’t think twice. However, these are the battles waged in our Nation’s capital between those who should represent us as citizens with some decorum and dignity. Instead of raising the level of discourse, the prime directive seems to involve a race to the bottom. In the mud pit is the agreed upon arena of battle in which to wage the war. Instead of issues being debated in an arena of ideas, the character of the individual is disparaged. And the mudslinging begins.

However unfortunate, we didn’t find ourselves in this situation overnight. These things have certainly been brewing and bubbling under the surface for some time. But it’s only when they finally rise to the surface where things get ugly. The distortions of truth can no longer hide and have to be exposed when the fight reaches its peak. It’s now come to a head where error has to face undeniable truth. It can’t continue forever, but one of them will be forced to yield to the other.

Things get even more complicated because there isn’t just a political battle that’s being waged, but a culture war taking place in the midst of it all. And politics just tend to follow what the culture does. So if the battle can be won here, it’s a smaller matter to win the political fight. And there has been a cultural undercurrent for some time. Unresolved questions of morality, propriety, and, at its root, the worldview of the majority of people duke it out here first. Whether we’re consciously aware of it, or not, messages—intended, or not—are being conveyed through entertainment; movies, TV, internet and social media portray a message which begins to sway social norms in one direction or the other. And the minds of many are either numbed or enlightened, depending on the message.
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In some sense, our leaders are only a reflection of this culture war being waged. That’s not to excuse their behavior. But battles get ugly when they rise to this level. It’s been said, “War is the continuation of politics by other means.” But I would say this: “Politics is a continuation of the culture war by other means.” And maybe that’s why politics get so ugly. War is ugly. And that’s what’s happening now. This fight that was first waged in the culture has culminated in the battle that’s now being fought in the trenches of the political arena.

Our leaders will need help to find out and discern what truth is. In the midst of battle, there will be casualties, and injury, but truth has the final say. We need to pray that God will provide wisdom where wisdom is lacking; that the blinders to truth will be removed; that our political enemies will begin to see the argument for truth. We misrepresent the reality when we think our goal is to merely win the argument. But when we can win the individual while winning the argument is when we claim the greatest victories.

…Let’s go deeper

Once being freed, you’d think excitement over being released from the shackles of bondage would be uncontainable. But certain factors change the dynamic of the situation. The downside of freedom is that it flies in the face of our tendency for comfort. Freedom is great in that it grants opportunities otherwise unknown when within the bounds of slavery. However, with great opportunity comes the facing of great risks. Herein lies the problem for the recently released slave.

One inescapable truth is that whatever we become accustomed to, no matter how deplorable, we also tend to become comfortable with. We get in a routine and it all starts to become familiar. It’s a tenuous dance we have with our situation. We don’t like the situation, but we like the relative safety that it brings. It’s something of a love-hate relationship. The thinking goes, “I may not like where I am, but at least I know what to expect from the circumstances I’m in. But if I get outside of these walls, I don’t know what to expect.”

Prison inmates can experience this to varying degrees. It’s especially the case the longer they’ve been in there. At first they hate the prison bars and walls, then they become accustomed to them, and finally they become dependent on them. It’s a slow transition, but a transition nonetheless; you become a willing participant of the institution you used to hate. You begin to expect less and less with each passing day. And though you begin to expect less, at least you know what to expect. And that’s what traps you. That’s the only thing keeping you there. But it’s enough, because even if they cut the shackles loose and opened the front gate you would still have trouble convincing yourself to leave. The prison bars and walls—instead of being the reason for not leaving—they’ve now become the excuse for staying.
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What we don’t realize is it takes courage to break free from all of this. It takes courage to break free from the bondage and also to not return to it. And it doesn’t just happen but somebody has to pay a price for it. But once the debt is paid, we owe it to the one who paid it to allow ourselves to be free.

Many times we’re in bondage to different things. We live in a prison, of sorts, within ourselves. Once free from guilt we sometimes thrust it back on ourselves. We think we deserve it even when, maybe, we don’t. And if we do deserve it, but all is forgiven, we still can’t forgive ourselves. Or it could be we’re in bondage to old ways of thinking; we haven’t moved beyond a way of thinking that no longer serves its purpose and onto a new way that applies to where we are right now. We’re stuck in the past mentally and we can’t move forward because of the mental bonds we have on our mind. But once freed, we have to make sure not to yield to the temptation to return to what was only holding us back.

…Let’s go deeper

There’s a pattern of thinking that seems to have infected our culture unawares. It devalues the life of the individual. But it does this in a covert and subversive manner. It tells us that we’re not capable, that we’re not worth living up to our potential, and that all of our problems are imposed on us from the outside. It disposes us of all responsibility while making us the locus of pity and sadness. The pity and sadness might feel good for a while; we might be tempted to embrace it but it bites back in the end. Pity doesn’t care if we stay in a state of destitution and never allows room for us to aspire to something more. The price we pay for this exchange only becomes apparent later.

This pattern of thinking described above is known as the ‘victim mentality’. Our society is as good at creating victims as it is in defining them and keeping them right where they are. The creators of victims have the added benefit of profiting from their loss. For the victims they create also feel beholden to their creator. In this way control is imposed on the victim. What the victim sees as their benevolent benefactor is really their slave master. And as long as the illusion is held in place the victim remains as he always has been—under the thumb of pity and despair; never to rise above those self-imposed limiters.
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What enlightened individuals know is the foul after-taste of pity rather than the brief initial sweetness of a plastic empathy. They know that those things that are real and lasting are the ones they believe for, and allow, and act on to happen for themselves. It’s not just a matter of pride and a performance-based self-worth, but a knowledge that includes knowing their worth demands more than to sit still while life just happens to them. If all else fails, they know that their failures will at least be met with their best efforts. The brief—but caustic—-respite of pity never crosses their mind if they should fail. They have the courage to see the possibilities but also possess the courage to accept and embrace the devastation of a failed effort. For they don’t see a failure for the devastation that results but for the value that it brings. Everything is a learning opportunity for the person free of the victim mentality. And the possibility to conquer forever remains within their grasp as long as they continue to see themselves as a conqueror. Through many failures, facing many enemies, and a ceaseless uphill battle they will eventually take that hill. It was theirs to claim all along, since they never bowed at the altar of self-pity.

It’s here that our society meets with a clearly-defined choice; the victims are exposed as well as the ones who create them. We can move forward with countless opportunities before us, but we can’t do it unless we release our hold on the victim mentality.

…Let’s go deeper

Have you ever heard someone say this: Do you need a written invitation? People say this in jest when they’re mocking your lack of response to a call to action. It’s a way to get you to wake up to the reality of what you’re facing. I suppose it’s also a way to make fun of your laziness. But sometimes we do need a written invitation.

But written invitations are usually reserved for more formal affairs: weddings, graduations, anniversaries, etc. These are the kinds of events where, without an invite, you’re not getting in. (Well, wedding crashers might, but they won’t be staying for long). It’s generally indicative of a close relationship when you receive an invitation in the mail. It’s a sign of your significance in the lives of those hosting the event. You mean something to them, and because the event also means something to them they want you there. These written invitations are something of a compliment. They’re a kind of watermark placed on you that says you matter.
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There’s also another saying which goes like this: Do I have to write it down for you? This one is similar but has a broader scope in meaning. People can say it mockingly, but, actually, writing things down is never a bad idea. I’ve found it to be an indispensable practice in my daily writing. In the beginning, I would think of ideas for writing material, believing I would remember them later on, but more often than not I would only forget what I was certain I was going to remember. Now writing even the simplest things down has become a regular practice for me. And, thanks to the advent of modern smartphones, I always have a virtual notepad with me. Like an investigative reporter on assignment, I’m keeping tabs on all new incoming data. Only my field of study isn’t people and a specific circumstance, but the broader human condition. And at the end of the day I post my article revealing my findings. Hopefully, before the deadline. But that’s how writing things down makes my life easier.

So, at the end of it all I would say, “Yes, I would like a written invitation and, yes, I would like it written down for me.” Is it too much to ask for both? I say not. Written invitations and written notes denote a certain amount of intent. That’s why having things in writing is so valuable. Another reason is that you have proof of what someone has said. It’s not just based on vague assertions, or a loose recall of someone else’s memory. These things are written so that you will know what someone else intended and so that you don’t forget what was so clearly stated. Any time you wonder, or you or someone else questions a matter, you have a written document that proves the claim. But having it in writing isn’t so much about what it proves to other people; it’s about what it proves to you. It’s either meant to confirm what you already know, or it’s meant to remind you of something you had too easily forgotten.

…Let’s go deeper

 

Something that at first seems like the best choice can often be the worst one to go with. It’s kind of funny how the worst choices can be disguised in a cloak like it’s your best friend when, in reality, it’s your worst enemy. They sidle up to you like a long lost friend…but not so fast. I don’t know you. I need some time to do some research and find out if you’re really who you claim to be.

I’ve learned to be wary of the options that can look so appealing at first. Many times these options offer you the world but fail to deliver on even a fraction of what they claim. It’s not to say I’m cynical; I’m just seasoned. It’s kind of like those telemarketer calls announcing you’ve won a free cruise or a free trip to Orlando. It’s especially suspicious since the person talking to you isn’t even real. These robo-calls today portray perfectly just how genuine the offer is with the disingenuous nature of the call. If it was such a rare offer and a great deal, the least they could do is have me talk to a real person. But if a cruise and/or trip to Orlando is that ubiquitous, it makes the offer suspect. Sounds really good, but the downsides are never apparent up front.
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I think the best choices we make are the ones where the downsides are advertised from the beginning. We know the negatives going in and, as a result, we trust the party making the offer. If they’re not making these pie-in-the-sky claims, but just presenting the situation as is, we appreciate their forthrightness. If we’re going to buy a car with a bad transmission, at least we know the transmission is bad going in. Nothing is hidden and all aspects are fully disclosed. I suppose some salespeople can cringe at that notion, but they discount how much people appreciate an honest broker. People aren’t so afraid of the downsides as long as you’re willing to be open about what they are. In fact, you could sell them the biggest lemon in the world and still retain them as a repeat customer as long as you told them it was the biggest lemon in the world. All you have to do is say, “Yeah, this car is a pile of junk. I can’t even recommend you buy it, but it is really cheap.” Sales 101, I guess. Pull the wool over their eyes and you might gain a customer for a day; Give them the unvarnished truth and you’ll gain a customer for life.

Things that are really as good as they claim to be don’t have to be advertised as such. New cars sell themselves because they really are as good as they appear. No clever lines are needed; no spin; it just is what it is. And you find that you can make your best decision here because it doesn’t claim to be something other than what it is.

…Let’s go deeper

In danger of stating the obvious, I feel this one thing still needs to be said: we can’t act on knowledge we don’t yet possess. I know what you’re thinking: “Thanks Captain Obvious.” But, in all seriousness, I feel this statement bears more wisdom than first appears. What prevents us from acting sometimes is not enough information, and sometimes we wait too long for new information to materialize.

But the sad reality is you can’t act on information you don’t have. I think Presidents face this frustrating dilemma on a regular basis. They often have to act on limited and even imperfect information. Those things they wish they could know with absolute certainty just don’t seem to exist. They have to make choices about how to act, but don’t have the luxury of waiting for more information to come in. So, in the absence of enough information, good judgment has to take over. I suppose that’s why we choose the candidates we choose: we feel they possess the judgment necessary for the job. We don’t choose the one who displays the best skills for data analysis (If that were the case, we would choose the biggest nerd we could find); we choose the one who displays the best judgment, because that’s largely what the job is about.
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But it seems to be the case with most of us: we sometimes wait too long for more knowledge to come in before we make a decision when we might never have enough knowledge, or it might never come in. Our hand is forced by time and circumstance into moving on a decision, and we always wish we knew more going in. It’s something of a step of faith to move forward in this imperfect world. That can be an unsettling feeling. It feels kind of like jumping off a cliff with a parachute. We take that final leap into the unknown, our stomach ends up in our chest, and we hope that parachute deploys before the ground reaches our feet.

Thankfully, experience can be our guide in these times—-experience and wisdom. The more experience we have under our belt, the more we can relate current situations to the ones we’ve dealt with in the past. The more we relate situations of the past to the present, the more we’re using wisdom to employ good judgment. As the old saying goes, “Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” And often we find we have to go with something more than head knowledge. We have to rely on our intuition—a general sense of understanding something without really knowing why. We don’t move forward haphazardly as though it doesn’t matter, but we don’t keep from acting out of fear of the unknown, or too many unknowns, either. It’s sometimes difficult to acknowledge our limited understanding of things. We get lulled into thinking we can have perfect knowledge of something if we just wait long enough. But really, how often does that happen? When does that ever happen?

…Let’s go deeper