Assumptions can get us into trouble. An assumption made is sometimes an opportunity missed. And many assumptions can be a misstep on our part. For example, to assume someone else knows something can be hazardous to any organization. You could say to your new co-worker at the nuclear missile silo, “I thought you knew not to push the big red launch button.” As countdown commences, you wish you would have spoken up. Probably shouldn’t have assumed he knew that. That’s one you want to make crystal clear, and even have in writing if you can. (I’m just kidding. I know that’s not how it really works. But you get the point.)
I understand. Some things kind of go without saying. You don’t feel the need to explicitly state everything. But especially when you get into complex processes, and the understanding of those things, making sure specifics are communicated is vital. It’s the key to success. We don’t need to insult another’s intelligence. But over-communication can never be said to be a bad thing, either.
Assumptions can also be made in what we know about others. Of course, we know the displeasure of assumptions because we’ve experienced assumptions about us. I guess, the times people haven’t understood me haven’t presented so much of a problem; it’s the times when they assume that they do. We assume because of our short-sightedness or arrogance, I guess. We just think all things experienced by all mankind somehow fall within the realm of our own understanding—that there’s no part of the human experience that we haven’t experienced ourselves. I suppose we experience most things in a general sense. But we can never know the specifics of someone else’s life.
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Experience does help us relate to others. We can know some things in part, but we can never fully understand another’s experience. I guess it comes down to a couple simple rules. 1) Don’t assume others know all that they need to know. 2) Don’t assume you know everything about others…..or that you need to. The gaps assumptions leave in our lives tend to be problematic.
I’ve seen assumptions become a problem for myself. The more I’ve assumed, the more I’ve learned not to do it. These lessons are valuable in that they teach as much about others as they do ourselves. Assuming can be a form of judging, if you think about it. We judge what others have done based on what we think we know about their situation. We judge what others might know based on what we actually know. In that sense, we make ourselves the standard by which we judge everyone else. But we’re far from the standard. It’s only natural to use your own experience to relate to another’s, but it’s going a step beyond when we use that as the measuring line. It’s best to leave our assumptions at the door. Find out the things you need to know; don’t assume what you don’t know about the rest.